Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Not in control
My body is not cooperating with me right now. Sunday after church I passed out while driving and ran off the road. The Lord blessed me and made sure that I didn't hurt anyone else or myself. I spent Sunday night in the hospital for observation and came home Monday. I have more test to be run Thur and Fri to try to find out what happened.
I have lost alot of energy and the doctor will not let me drive alone till he figures out what is happening. Its very humbling to come to reality that I'm really not in control of anything in my life. I may think I am and go through day to day activities thinking I have control of what I want to do next but unless my Creator allows me to do anything it just will not happen. Thank you Father and my Lord Jesus for letting me do the things I do. I will make every effort from now on to be more aware of Your control and try to be grateful for everything, not somethings, not "important" things, but everything in my life.
If I don't blog or answer blogs for awhile its because I'm not at work and able to find time to do so. So those who read this please pray for me. Do not pray that my life will return to "normal" but pray that our God will give me faith to trust Him and do what He says and have an attititude of humility about life. Apart from Him I can do nothing.
I have lost alot of energy and the doctor will not let me drive alone till he figures out what is happening. Its very humbling to come to reality that I'm really not in control of anything in my life. I may think I am and go through day to day activities thinking I have control of what I want to do next but unless my Creator allows me to do anything it just will not happen. Thank you Father and my Lord Jesus for letting me do the things I do. I will make every effort from now on to be more aware of Your control and try to be grateful for everything, not somethings, not "important" things, but everything in my life.
If I don't blog or answer blogs for awhile its because I'm not at work and able to find time to do so. So those who read this please pray for me. Do not pray that my life will return to "normal" but pray that our God will give me faith to trust Him and do what He says and have an attititude of humility about life. Apart from Him I can do nothing.
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Kris I will pray as you asked but I must also ask if it is His will that He will bless you to regain your health as well and multiply His blesings on you. Please update us when you can.
All things work together for good for those who love the Lord.
Your awarness, admittance and acceptance that He is in control, is already a major step ahead. A step some people make a long time after they found out they had a physical illness (like me haha) and some never make that step. Try not to be discouraged or let fear of what may be wrong rule your days. Even if there is, then God can use that for good and it may well be He is showing you the door He would like you to go through. Trust God and have Faith. He can turn a mess into gold:-)
You are in our prayers.
God's Grace.
Your awarness, admittance and acceptance that He is in control, is already a major step ahead. A step some people make a long time after they found out they had a physical illness (like me haha) and some never make that step. Try not to be discouraged or let fear of what may be wrong rule your days. Even if there is, then God can use that for good and it may well be He is showing you the door He would like you to go through. Trust God and have Faith. He can turn a mess into gold:-)
You are in our prayers.
God's Grace.
Kc,
I cannot say wether it is the Lords will that I regain my health here on earth. I very much hope so.
I do believe that it is His will to bless me though. I have come to believe by experience that pain and trial is the "main" vehicle God uses to change in me whatever is not pleasing to Him. Only those of us who are born again and not in the former "natural" state can even be made to understand this. I say this like its easy and I have "arrived", but I know very well I haven't and have much more carnal times and "fit throwning" than spirtual times with resting. I still want my way and as long as I can get it I am more prone to take the easy way instead of the way of the cross. I hope I don't sound too spiritual or pious, I still deal with wretched self that I am, but praise God for Romans 8:1.
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I cannot say wether it is the Lords will that I regain my health here on earth. I very much hope so.
I do believe that it is His will to bless me though. I have come to believe by experience that pain and trial is the "main" vehicle God uses to change in me whatever is not pleasing to Him. Only those of us who are born again and not in the former "natural" state can even be made to understand this. I say this like its easy and I have "arrived", but I know very well I haven't and have much more carnal times and "fit throwning" than spirtual times with resting. I still want my way and as long as I can get it I am more prone to take the easy way instead of the way of the cross. I hope I don't sound too spiritual or pious, I still deal with wretched self that I am, but praise God for Romans 8:1.
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